Thursday 29 May 2014

feat.Ella

Dear Ella,

Been mucking around on I tunes and You Tube trying to find some new tunes - missing the "listen to this" and the constant beat of music from you room or where ever you are.

Startlingly - the words below appeared.


BASTILLE feat. Ella - No Angels (TLC vs The XX)


I only have to see "Ella" written down or here "Ella" - and my heart misses a beat.  How can your name be used by anyone else?

I know for a fact that it will be busy at Woodlands tomorrow, as I am sure it is on many days.   You will recognise a few faces and no doubt have visitors.  

Woodlands feat.Ella - Yes Angels (I hope  - if thats what you want).


Lots of love

Mum
XXX


Saturday 24 May 2014

From Blue to Brown

Dear Ella,

Back home (again) - going away and being away is getting easier - coming home just gets more painful.  Guess what?  You're still not here.

So left the Bosphorus blue waters behind and now back with the familiar shades of the muddy Avon Cut - hey ho, thats holidays for you.  From warm sunny Istanbul temperatures to a wet cold Bristol holiday weekend.  From languid coffee and drink stops, to dashing around getting things done mode.  From unfamiliar astonishing sights to familiar comforting surroundings. From worrying and fretting about Sophie - to hugging and holding her tight.

Half my head says I have been away for ages the other says "was it dream, did it happen"?

It happened, it was lovely, how lucky am I have been, gone and come back.


Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” 
― Terry PratchettA Hat Full of Sky

Lots of love

Mum
XX














Tuesday 20 May 2014

Where East meets West

Dear Ella,

Slipped off the radar - am loitering in Istanbul.  Where East meets West as all the great travel cliches say.  And it's true.  It's an astonishing city and reminds me a lot of our holiday in Morroco that you loved so much.   The call to prayer rings out several times a day across the city - causing pigeons and seagulls to fluster and circle.  The mosque minarets  stand out dramatically on the city skyline next to modern tower blocks.  Below on the streets the tourists push past the busy traffic perfectly intermingled with the locals.  It's a myriad of hustle, bustle on my senses - never quite sure what's going to appear around the next corner.

We have a lovely roof top terrace to escape to - again very similar to the one we had in Marakesh   - the beers are cool and the elevated stance makes the city look easy and magnificent.

Missing  you lots - wish you were here.

Lots of love
Mum

Tuesday 13 May 2014

A letter of thanks

Dear Ella,

Had to take a break from writing to you last night and write to lots of other people instead (see below).

A fantastic  Team Ella gathering on Sunday - the Bristol 10k.  We laughed as we shivered at the starting line thinking about what you would be thinking - "you must be mad, getting up early on a damp and chilly May morning to run 10k - wouldn't catch me", but I know that overall you would be fairly amazed and what we are continuing to achieve for the TCT in your name - and our ability to come together and somehow feel a little tiny bit better about you not being here.

We were all magnificent.

Lots of love

Mum
Xx

Hi Team Ella,

A massive thank you for all your hard work and support on Sunday - running, walking, staggering, cheering, baking, eating - what ever you did, it was brilliant and everyone seems to have enjoyed the day.  They were buzzing at SACO today.

In January I wrote to you all to say the Remembering Ella Redman total was at £105,000 and laid out my plans and hopes to move it up-to £110,000.  As the pages stand tonight we are fast approaching £115,000 - simply amazing, £10,000 in just over four months, much of this coming from the Run For Ella Bristol 10k - but very valuable other efforts as well.

"What next?" was a question I was asked many times on Sunday, there clearly is an energy and desire to do more for the Teenage Cancer Trust in memory of Ella.  We have no "big" events lined up as such - we (being the hard core team) felt it was too much to do and ask for more this year when everyone did and gave so much last year.  But - you are an extraordinary bunch of people and the network of people that you all know.   On a regular basis I am told about events and initiatives that people are arranging  and going about to raise money, these include: 

SACO are planning events such as a jewellery sale and a five aside football tournament 
St Albans Drama Club - continue to raise money
A friend of Bob Tarzey's - is setting about a very special project - more about this soon
Talk of a dog rescue event being arranged
A pub event in Hanham - courtesy of "mankini man" and family
Bristol half marathon team - save me please!

"On we go" - one of my favourite phrases and indeed "on we go" finding ways to gather and remember Ella and in doing so raise funds for a charity that meant a lot to her.

I am just finalising details with Ashton Park school - who are so magnificently arranging to plant a tree in Ella's name in the school grounds and place a bench.  For those who would like to - It would be lovely to gather there on Saturday 19 July and simply be together with no fund raising pressure, weather permitting perhaps a picnic and so on.  Will let you know asap - but hold the date.

With much love and thanks

Jo
X

Apologies If I have missed anyone off this e mail - please feel free to forward on

Friday 9 May 2014

Turns out

Dear Ella,

Turns out - we're popular, well  I always knew you were, but tonight I met a fan of our letters - had no idea she was reading them.  Apparently inspirational, moving and thought provoking.  I was truely touched and moved, special feedback from a unique person.

On that basis, I checked our stats - around over 120 page views a day - good grief, no pressure maybe I should be writing something more useful.  Then I reminded myself, that this is primarily selfish therapy for me - if others like it  - then cracking, thats a bonus, but just now, right now - am in the zone and writing to you.

Hope you would have been proud of me today, pulled off a bit of an event at work - which mainly went OK, home late and missed your "where are you"?  text, that forever checking up on me gene that you had.

BTW - if you are "checking upon me" -"fair to middling" would be my statement.

Read this today which I thought was a great  response to the well worn cliche "time heals".


They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."

- Andy Warhol


I am trying!

Lots of love

Mum
XX

Wednesday 7 May 2014

We're running again

Dear Ella
Add caption

Its spring time (read damp, chilly but bright spells), early May - so time to run the Bristol 10k.  As we did last year a whole group of us are putting on our Purple Run For Ella T Shirts and will be moving in some shape or format round the route on Sunday 11 May.

Around sixty of this year - and it feels so good to be gathering and putting you centre stage - not that you are ever far off it.

No boathouse this year, but the magnificent Lorraine has got us a room at the Cuban restaurant where we will meet and hug before we run, walk, cheer and smile (or maybe grimace in some cases).

The TCT for Ella fund continues to increase - we are fast approaching £112,000.  Amazing, thought we would get to £110,000 by the time we ran - but oh no - we have stormed past that target and are now on our way to £115,000.    So at least £5,000 raised this year in your name and memory.

We love you Ella Redman, and I love all the pictures that are posted of you on the JG pages.

Lots of love

Mum
XX











Friday 2 May 2014

Shredded Whitwell

Dear Ella,

Finally got round the shredding some old paperwork - much of it to do with you - have to say in one sense it was quite satisfying push stuff about Mr D Whitwell through the shredder in a rapid and assertive manner.

Brian then ran off with some of the shreds - so now finding "scraps" of Oxford around the house.

Have struggled to find positives this week - but finally got some release from singing last night.  Didn't want to go, but made myself and then the music took over and the sound of over sixty people singing their hearts out got me to a better place.

Just over a week till we all run for you - "Team Ella" are gathering - that will be good.

Lots of love

Mum
xx

PS - just reread the above and thought I had written "Shredded Wheat" ha! that made me smile