Tuesday 29 July 2014

People send me amazing things

Dear Ella

Oh my love, friends send me the most amazing messages, this arrivedvia messenger in FB this evening and its just so spot on - its exactly how am I trying to be - taking you with me in everything I do.

I really am - I promise

Lots of love

Mum
XX

PS thank you Joel x





Saturday 26 July 2014

It's been a week

Dear Ella,

Its been a week since we gathered together for your birthday.  Its been a very long, hot one.  The sun has blazed down, nights have been restless and lethargy has taken over at times.

Hard to imagine ever dancing in the rain again - in more ways than one.

Lots of love

Mum
XX



Tuesday 22 July 2014

Ella must have spent much of her time high on endorphins;

Dear Ella,

…and U Bob said a few lovely words as well - naturally with a science twist!

Lots of love
Mum
xx

When Jo asked me to say a few words, I wondered where to turn for inspiration, and then remembered an article I had read in New Scientist about friendship. The article asked one of those questions, which at first sound a bit odd: why do we have friends? I think Ella, would have found it an interesting one to ponder!

According to the boffins, whilst some animals may roam around in huge herds, they are doing so, with mere acquaintances. Humans on the other hand, share the capability to make true friends with just a few other species, including gorillas, chimps, whales, dolphins, horses, elephants and even camels, which like all good friends, occasionally get the hump with each other.

Being friendly is linked with the release bio-chemicals like oxytocin and various endorphins, which make us feel good. A lack of contact with friends releases cortisol, which makes us feel bad. Sophie can fill you in on the details!

Ella must have spent much of her time high on endorphins; apparently laughing, singing, dancing and gossiping with friends, all stimulate their release. She would also have recognised a modern-day measure of “true friendship”; which is, when you visit a good friend’s house, your smartphone connects to the Wi-Fi automatically!

It is often said that you are stuck with family, but friends you choose. We, the family, like to think Ella was quite fond of us and I know she was devoted to Jo, Sophie and her Dad, Bob. But, when it comes to friends, New Scientist was a bit gloomy, saying that, “friendships are susceptible to decay”.

However, there was an exception: the close friendships we make in our teens and early twenties. Many of these last a lifetime and do not fade up even after decades of separation. It is gratifying to know that Ella had already made those friends by the time she lost her struggle with cancer in November 2012, and that she will never be forgotten. Most of you are here today.


So, there is no doubt, that here, at Aston Park School, is the right place to plant this tree. The place which Ella forged many of those friendships. And a place we can all visit in coming years to mark the years passing without the charming, intelligent and lively young friend, we all lost just 18 months ago. 

Thank you.

Monday 21 July 2014

Remember Ella’s laugh, remember her smile, remember your relationship with her and remember everything she did. Remember Ella.

Dear Ella,

We had a lovely picnic - if only you had been there.

This is what Annie said - such beautiful words.

Lots of love

Mum
XX

It may seem strange to many of you that we’re coming back to Ashton and doing this here. But apart from her brief but happy time at art school, this was the last community that Ella was a big part of, and somewhere she was happy, healthy and in her element. Over there by the gate we used to sit and eat and laugh, and here on the mound in the summer. We used to sit up there in the library and wind up Penny, and study of course! And over in those classrooms Ella thrived in physics and maths, and over in there at art and design.

While we’re on the subject of Ashton Park it’s only right to say thank you for everyone involved in this, especially Mr John, and to everyone that took care of Ella while we were here. I definitely can’t mention everyone, but you all made school a special time and I hope you know that you did and just how important that is.  Thank you Miss Benjamin who gave us somewhere to go in the early days when school felt a bit like a battlefield, Miss Mulroy who was always there for us (and definitely didn’t cheat in the tutor house point competitions), Miss McGirr who provided us with all the teacher gossip, Mr Shoker who really fuelled Ella’s passion for Physics and Miss Debenham who became even more of a friend to Ella than a teacher. The same goes to basically all of Ella’s teachers and other staff throughout school and sixth form, who nurtured her talents, supported her and made her feel special.

It was Ella’s birthday yesterday and we’re still living in a world where she isn’t here or getting older with us. It’s unfair and just so sad, and we miss her every day. But there has also been cause for celebration over the past year or so - Ella’s family and friends led by Jo have raised a colossal amount of money which has already been put to use, with the Bristol Teenage Cancer Unit now open and helping others like Ella, and it really is a fantastic place. Meanwhile, Ella’s sister Sophie has gone to Cardiff University and is once again proving just how exceptionally talented she is. Ella’s little cousins Tommy and Keziah are growing up into lovely children. Many of Ella’s friends have graduated from uni, and some have found jobs they love, including Georgina who’s thriving on working in operating theatres and helping patients just like Ella once was. Bob has been so strong throughout, and a lovely thing he did is build a beautiful wooden chest to treasure keepsakes and memories of Ella in, a vital part of remembering Ella, which is after all what we’re here doing now and will continue to do.


Remember Ella’s laugh, remember her smile, remember your relationship with her and remember everything she did. Remember Ella.

Friday 18 July 2014

Happy Birthday

Dear Ella

Happy 22 Birthday - my beautiful girl.

Lots of love

Mum
XX





Tuesday 15 July 2014

A heavy day

Dear Ella,

Its been a long old heavy day - woke up feeling heavy - mentally that is rather than physically.  Walked to work heavy, walked home heavy, ran heavy - now off to bed heavy.

Couldn't work out why - then I figured its your birthday on Friday, and I am missing you more than ever and still find it unbelievable that your not here.

Lots of love

Mum
xx

Wednesday 9 July 2014

A glimpse into the future

Dear Ella,

Funny evening and moment last night - for a fleeting moment I tasted what life might be like when I pass beyond 70, 80 or beyond and its all your fault!

You told me to get singing - and as you know from my various letters I have done just that.  I joined the Gurt Lush choir and started in September with a few carols and other numbers in the alto section, pushing on through to some Ennio Morricone numbers in the first sopranos and year end concert at the Colston Hall. Please don't think for one moment that moving from altos to sopranos means I have a great vocal range, rather the opposite - I just preferred the company on that side of the room - shallow I know!

Anyway - I did it and can report back that it was all good fun, not sure that my singing is any better, but I laughed a lot and for sure got a bagful of some kind of therapy.  Don't know what sort - but after every sing, I generally walked home feeling rather contented and at one with the world - if not a little smug.

Last night saw the end of year choir social.  A gathering of well meaning folk - all bought food and drink which we duly shared, whilst chatting and reminiscing about the choir year and how wonderful the concert had been.  AND then - some tunes were knocked out on a piano, we pushed our chairs to the edge of the room and sang some random songs starting with "My Old Man said follow the van".   I looked around the room and for one shocking moment thought I had been transported to an OAP's social or as Grandad would call it "God's Waiting room" - a group of "elderly" people, singing badly, but with gusto, making up the words, smiling and nodding and looking slight bemused - and I was one of them.  I laughed out loud!

We were having a lovely time - but I didn't stay long, plenty of time for that in the future. However, I do now understand on more than one level why singing is so therapeutic.

Will be back for more (not the OAP type) singing in September - time now to rest the vocal chords.

Lots of love

Mum
XX









Tuesday 8 July 2014

A Picnic for you

Dear Ella,

We're going to be having a bit of a do for you - a picnic the day after your 22nd birthday, in a place that meant a huge amount to you and made you very happy - Ashton Park School, and guess what there's going to a tree and a bench with your name on!  Think that's good.

Lots of love

Mum
XX

Hi everyone,

All sorted for Saturday 19 July - for anyone who would like to come along.

The venue is Ashton Park School - sixth form centre.  Park in the main school car park and follow signs for the sports centre - all should then become obvious

Anytime from 1pm.

Bring a picnic, things to sit on and if you are so inclined - "outdoor toys".

Around 3pm we will gather around Ella's bench and tree, say a few words and release purple balloons into the soaring blue summer skies.

Other things to do (if you would like to):

Bring a purple ribbon and tie it to Ella's tree/bench - she loved purple
Wander round the lovely Ashton Park playing fields
Go into the sixth form centre where a mural of Ella's artwork is being set up.

Most of all - just come and gather and catch up with friends and family and say "Happy Birthday" to Ella - in a place where she was always so happy.

With love
Jo

PS - even if its raining and blowing a gale - we will still gather as we will have access to the sixth form common room.  

Whatever the weather - we will also have access to loos!



Monday 7 July 2014

California dreaming

Dear Ella,

I had a dream that I went to LA for a holiday.

Hang on, it wasn't a dream it did happen and yes the sun was hotter, the skies bluer, the roads (and people) wider, the portions  huge (maybe why the people are wider), the accents broader, the service fantastic, the gas cheaper, the sidewalks less used, the grass browner and the cocktails icier.

LA living looked good to me.  Mastering the earthquake evacuation process didn't take too long, and it was good to avoid the beaches where the sharks hang out.  I was mindful not to press "dispense" for too long in the "FroYo" store - when reaching for the salted caramel flavour, and not to ask for too many glasses of Californian red.

Soft, mellow, easy with a touch of extraordinary or as my lovely friend Laura would say "like monkeys on acid"  that's LA for you.

Lots of love

Mum
Xx










Tuesday 1 July 2014

Your reach is far

Dear Ella,

Your reach is far….all sorts of people get involved with fund raising for the TCT in your memory.  Just last weekend the Cross Keys Pub in Hanham, Bristol organised a family fun day and raised the phenomenal amount of £2,150.  This will push the overall tool raised in your name to nearly £118,000. Simply staggering and of course …."on we go"……….

Louise Sims a friend of Andy and Tina's was the main driver behind the event and of course the Mike and Annie the landlord and lady of the Cross Keys Pub

Staggering what a group of people can achieve - I know you would want to say a massive thank you - so will say it on your behalf "THANK YOU" to all involved.

Lots of love

Mum
XXX
PS U Andy - "how many ciders?"




Just wanted to say a very big THANK YOU to:

Louise - for being the driving force to get the Fun Day organised and for being the best friend a woman could ask for xx

Dave Tippett, Mark, Rob, Lee, Paula, Tony, Sharon (on the Tombola) Alex Lisa & Family, Gary, Andy and Tina and their family for showing team work pays off!!

Debbie, Hugh, Abbie, Charlotte and family for embracing the fun day and making it a success just less than one month after they moved in.

All our lovely bar staff for coping with the rush!

Kelly (Sam's girlfriend) for making Cakes that became the biggest single contributor.

Dean and Ryan for auctioning the Cup Cakes.

Rich (the carpenter) for making the stocks (now available for hire to any wife that wants them!)

Sue the Karaoke for donating some of her fee to the charity!

Disco Charlie for donating ALL the prizes for Splat the Rat

Lois for being an inspiration - she is already a better businesswoman than me!

But mostly, to ALL our fabulous customers (even the ones who were experiencing the Cross Keys for the first time) for raising over £2000 for the Teenage Cancer Trust at our Fun Day, which was in memory of Ella. Your generosity is astounding and it is clear to us that you ARE the BEST customers in the world! Thank You all so much.

Annie and Mike