It's been a while

Dear Ella,

Sorry, it's been a while, my mojo has been lying low, listless and inert, not attractive!   Despite firm talkings too and flashes of get up and go - I have not got up and gone, but rather limped along.  All rather pathetic and first world centric.  If I was still at school, no doubt my report would read (as they always did), "could do better"!  So I will do better and am gearing up for an Autumn of getting stuff done and being out and about.

This will include:

• Returning your sister to university, handing her back to the Welsh and all things student.  Good luck Cardiff!
• Learning to fly solo again - and remembering that fruit bowls can be used for other things than fruit - junk mail as I remember from last year
• More singing - despite zero improvement in my singing ability, and at times child like giggling fits - I did not get thrown out of choir last year, so will be returning to puzzle over more musical notes on lines that mean nothing to me at all.  Bristol - hold onto your ears on Thursday evenings!
• A new hobby - outdoor swimming - and no wetsuits involved.  I am going to toughen up and no longer be the person who gingerly hops around at the waters edge taking ages to get in - only to jump straight back out.  (Ice bucket challenge on Sunday was not a great start!)  Look out for me ploughing up and down the Bristol Lido at 7.30 am on dark winter mornings - really…….
• Trailing up and down mountains behind U Bob - scaring the living daylights out of myself and possibly those immediately behind me.  Never have I my arms and legs ached so much and my heart raced so fast - as last November in Snowdonia - and I am going back for more.
• More and more walking, as I continue to blindly put one foot in front of the other and - well just walk.  Miles and miles - to work, home from work, to friends, to the shops, to your tree, round the harbour, through Ashton Court - anywhere.  Just keep walking - remains my mantra - it helps.
• Completing or starting my new years resolutions - think Pensions, Pelvic Floors and Birthday Cards - a heady combo…….still useless at sending cards on time if at all - and as for the other two - don't even go there, but "tidying up" must be done.  It's mid life junk - wont bore you with anymore details.

So a starter for ten - and as I always say - "on we go"

Lots of love

Mum

XX

Blustery sunshine

Dear Ella,

It's been a weekend of blustery energising sunshine and lots of lovely friends in different ways.

A birthday on Friday evening - oh dear a white wine too many….., coffee on Sat morning at Mark's bakery cafe - a swap of 50 something notes, then on for a magical stomp across the Mendips - with wide blue skies and much oxygen.  A cozy night with A&Q at the Pump House, followed by an early start and coach station drop (Sophie en route to Budpaest) and then an indulgent care free Sunday - a bit of this and that - including a check on your tree and purple ribbons.  Lovely to have a quiet 10 minutes with you.

Lots to be grateful for - honest!

Lots of love
Mum
XX

A cheery tune

Dear Ella,

Been feeling sad - got the August blues….I checked my blog last year and saw I wrote

Have decided to put August in the same box as February and November - dull!

Why is that? - Lots to be thankful for  and ways to count my blessings, a few days away with my Dad, garden growing and looking a treat, Sophie seems as content as a Fizz or a Brian, the weekend is near and a promise of a long walk across the nearby hills, friends to see, birthdays to celebrate, work to be done.  All in all a purpose and a reason to be and get up and get on with life.  So why the August blues….?  I think its a month that hangs - a still month, with a sense of waiting for September when there is a return to the majority getting on with usual routines.  Life picks up a pace and there is less time for reflection and procrastination.  An ingrained new school year approach - like clean pages in new exercise books?  Energising potential.

So for now hanging around in August - taking time to read and listen to new things - this was very cheering and new to me tonight - Jorge Ben Jor - Taj Mahal

 Had a massive missing Ella pang earlier this week - MASSIVE

Lots of love

Mum
XXX

Laughter

Dear Ella,

What a great gift laughter is - both to laugh and also to make people laugh.

Two laughing reflections today.  Firstly with Grandad (on our holidays in Devon) - who as you know has the capacity to reduce me to laughter quite often.  It was the other way round today, I made him laugh and as he did do did I.  Apparently as I laughed - my Mum (Granny) came tumbling out - "My - you sound just like Janet", said my godmother Brenda who was there as well.   It was nice to think of Granny laughing.

Then RIP the wonderful Robin Williams -  one of my favourite comedians and actors - simply love his humour and talent as you well know.  We were both reduced to helpless laughter a couple of Christmas's ago - as you and me watched a video of his that you gave me (even the joke about chemo was funny - doctor said taking Propofol to sleep is like doing chemotherapy because you're tired of shaving your fucking head) Cant begin to imagine the pain he must have been in to do what he did - mental illness incomprehensible for those of us fortunate enough not to suffer from it.

Maybe your laughing out loud somewhere with Granny and Robin - gosh there's a thought

Lots of love

Mum
XX

August

Dear Ella,

It's August and the long school holidays are well under way, Bristol is quieter and there is an air of friends and family leaving town for a few days, a week or even longer.  Of course they all come back - usually with happy stories and holiday memories - that will hopefully last for ever.

Why do we always remember holidays so much?  Lots of reasons, but one must be that we get off the hum drum routine of our every days lives and maybe slow down, speed up, do something completely different, experience new things and have time to be with the people we have gone away with.

Another reason must be that we take lots of photos, again because we have time and/or we want to capture the moment - whatever that moment is.  Those photos in themselves become our memories and help us to remember happy times.

I found these happy memories just now - old photos - some from a very long time ago.  I can smell the sea and remember the moments and those lovely holiday times.

Happy holidays

Lots of love

Mum
xxx

Taken for granted

Dear Ella,

Found this - and I think it pretty much applies to the relationship between child and mother.  In that - who else can you take so much for granted - but almost gain so much comfort from.  Also can totally see it between friends and partners - who else can you be "off" or even foul to - when you have spent all day being nice to others??

I know I took my Mum for granted on any number of occasions - and am trying really hard to not take others for granted now - 54 years in and still trying!

Lots of love

Mum
Xxx

“There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship."

- Iris Murdoch, A Severed Head