Kurt in Bath

Dear Ella,


Allington is very quiet tonight - in comparison to three years ago, just me and the guys (Brian and Fizz). and Adele (Mum music) singing on the TV.

Comfortable and familiar - home - yours, Sophie's and mine and always will be.

You were with me in Bath this afternoon - It was meant to be - there was a Kurt Jackson exhibition.  Astonishing, breathtaking landscapes of the ocean, countryside and Glastonbury.  An artist you loved and studied when you were at Ashton Park.  One of your Kurt influenced pairings raised £2,000 for TCT at the Party for Ella in November 2013.

Sleep tight beautiful girl

All my love
Mum
XX

Three years then...

Dear Ella,

Three years then - neither long nor short.  Just normally formed 365 x 3.

May be your surprised to see me sitting quietly still instead of chasing mountain tops in wildest Wales - maybe it's good to be still and just be - we'll see.

There is never a night where I don't hold you and Sophie tight before I fall to sleep - clambering through my memories from your last few days and trying to find the ones from the times before you were ill.

What would you be doing now if you were here now?   I don't meant like literally "here" as in on the blue sofa at Allington - as I am sure you would be somewhere doing your thing…….

Carefully skittering, skimming across the top of daily living  - is how most days go, avoiding the obvious, patching around the wound - building a raft to hang onto.  It's not awful - its surprisingly easy - just keep moving with the rest of the world.

Slipping and sliding on we go - one foot in front of the other.

Missing you an incredibly huge amount.

Lots of love

Mum
XX

Chilli

Dear Ella,

A cozy Monday evening home - with a big bowl of Chilli Con Carne - your favourite.

Think it was up to scratch.

Lots of love

Mum
XX