Grumpy day

Dear Ella,

Just one of those grumpy days - no reason, just grumpy:(

Have a word with me!

Lots of love

Mum
xx

Mrs T and Twiglets

Dear Ella

By Mrs T - I don't mean Granny, but Mrs Thatcher - gone and on her way wherever (by foot - if you have read my last letter).

Anyway, you would have enjoyed the explosion of coverage in the media and joined in all the debate - as you can imagine, extreme views coming in from varying friends and family.

I missed having you hear to chat and ooh and ahh about it all - so I had some twiglets instead - actually we might have had them anyway.

Twiglets/marmite - a bit like Mrs T - you either love them/her or hate them/her

Lots of love

Mum
xx

Good advice!

Taking the celestial locomotive

Dear Ella,

Maya sent me a link to a great article by a guy called Roger Ebert  (USA film critic).  Its stuff he wrote about thoughts on dying...not a light read, but thought provoking stuff for people like me - who frequently (well constantly) wonder where you are and how the whole process of leaving us was for you.

Anyway - this was one of the bits I liked best - apparently said and written down by Vincent Van Gough many years ago.

Looking at the stars always makes me dream, as simply as I dream over the black dots representing towns and villages on a map.

Why, I ask myself, shouldn’t the shining dots of the sky be as accessible as the black dots on the map of France?

Just as we take a train to get to Tarascon or Rouen, we take death to reach a star. We cannot get to a star while we are alive any more than we can take the train when we are dead. So to me it seems possible that cholera, tuberculosis and cancer are the celestial means of locomotion. Just as steamboats, buses and railways are the terrestrial means.

To die quietly of old age would be to go there on foot.

So for me and Maya - its kind of comforting to know you are with the stars (that you love so much) and took the train and didn't walk there slowly....

Lots of love
Mum
xx

Lost Glory

Dear Ella

U Jim's lovely words - I too clearly remember Grand National Day two years ago - the wonderful Mark Kennedy helped us get through the weekend.  He  introduced  you and Sophie to "gambling" - made  us all bet on a horse and then watch the race, can't remember if we won or not!

Lots of love
Mum
xx

Hi Jo

Today is a special day in sport as its the Grand National, just in case this has passed you by! 

I love Grand National Day and it has very fond memories(Mum and Dad loved it and i half wish I was on Henleaze Rd this morning in Billy Hills) for me over the years with a few wins, culminating in a visit to Aintree 2 years ago

It's also a poignant day, as it was whilst at Aintree that we took a call from Mum to tell us Ella had been diagnosed with a tumour in her arm, which luckily for us was a call that came on the Saturday evening after we had been to the race course.

Anyway, today and for all Grand Nationals I will remember Ella more so than other days, and whilst I am around will always put £5 on Ella's Horse (am not sure if she ever put a bet on but hey ho!)

I will always pick a horse that in some way has some significance to Ella and this year my choice is Lost Glory(no need for an explanation). It's a bit of an outsider with a bit of form, but not fancied by the pundits(66-1), but you never no. I will be placing £2.50 E/W so the bet will return, if Lost Glory comes in the first 4 places. 

Naturally if Ella's Horse comes 1,2,3 or 4 the winnings will be donated to TCT

For those family members betting today I fancy Seabass, the Housewives Favorite with Katie Walsh on board and looking to be the first woman to win the National. I like the horse, it pushed Neptune Collonges very close last year(although I was backing Neptune who won by a nose!) and just have this inkling that its Seasbass's year!

Will probably fall at the first!

Anyway, if your watching the National then give a cheer for Lost Glory! 

Love Jim

Mind the Gap..

Dear Ella

Its so cold.....your hot water bottle is working overtime....nice to be using something that was so important to you.

Lots of letters and messages still arriving for me, for you, for all of us.

The latest from Eleanor, Hannah and some with no names - all from the heart and talk about the huge gap you have left.

"Mind the Gap" - useful advice from London Transport!

Lots of love

Mum
xxx

Retail therapy

Dear Ella

My new evening occupation - retailer!

T Shirts selling like hot cakes (what ever they are).

Next stop my own e bay shop???

Lots of love
Mum
xx

Sitting in the dark..

Dear Ella

I have discovered that I like sitting in the dark - watching something!

So going to the cinema or theatre =  a good place to be.

Did it again at the weekend - went to the Theatre in London to see "The Mousetrap" - good old fashioned theatre, but absorbing.

Call it therapy or what ever, but it works for me just now - it's sort of peaceful, undemanding, safe and a distraction.

Lots of love

Mum
xxx