Dear Ella,
So we have run, cycled, swum and played cricket "for Ella". Time to hang up the sporting equipment and get down to activities closer to your heart.
Music and movement for Ella
An event that the wonderful SACO Bath team have developed and will be hosting.
So we will be there on 15 August - thinking about you lots and lots as ever. It's the same day that the A level results will be be out - so a big day all round.
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
Dear Ella, You were always so enthusiastic about my blogging and writing and told me that I should carry on, so in your name and with everyone else's kind encouragement I am going to push on into 2013 - and write down what life is like without you and how we will all fare as we move forward into new and uncharted waters.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Tuesday, 30 July 2013
Another moment
Dear Ella,
But not in Asda! This time in the car park behind the M Shed - just walking home minding my own business, when suddenly in front of me there appeared two boys/lads dressed as strawberries - I kid you not!
Of European descent, late teens, early 20's, babbling away in a language that was not English - and looking like strawberries.
I carried on, but did turn round to take a second look and make sure I hadn't imagined it - no I hadn't!
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
But not in Asda! This time in the car park behind the M Shed - just walking home minding my own business, when suddenly in front of me there appeared two boys/lads dressed as strawberries - I kid you not!
Of European descent, late teens, early 20's, babbling away in a language that was not English - and looking like strawberries.
I carried on, but did turn round to take a second look and make sure I hadn't imagined it - no I hadn't!
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
Monday, 29 July 2013
An Asda moment
Dear Ella,
Am Still trudging down to Asda to stock up on food for the week, as ever there is always some kind of an experience to see or edge around. Do you remember the night the man got arrested at the till next to us, and there was the day we pretended we were on the french riviera - catching the sun whilst the car was treated to a wash and polish up?
Anyway - tonight as I came out - there was a huge seagull eating a bag of Monster Munch crisps - couldn't see if they were pickled onion or roast beef flavour, but it was a strange sight to behold - and somewhat surreal.
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
Didn't think to get a picture on my phone, but if I had - it might have looked a bit like this
Am Still trudging down to Asda to stock up on food for the week, as ever there is always some kind of an experience to see or edge around. Do you remember the night the man got arrested at the till next to us, and there was the day we pretended we were on the french riviera - catching the sun whilst the car was treated to a wash and polish up?
Anyway - tonight as I came out - there was a huge seagull eating a bag of Monster Munch crisps - couldn't see if they were pickled onion or roast beef flavour, but it was a strange sight to behold - and somewhat surreal.
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
Didn't think to get a picture on my phone, but if I had - it might have looked a bit like this
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Great news
Dear Ella,
Great news......
After heavy rainfall my water but is full again :) For the first time since Bob installed it two years ago, it had actually reached empty after all my recent busy watering activity. So that's a relief - I can sleep again!
Still on the heady note of gardening, I can proudly report that I have received a "good garden" award - just like last year, and that was despite my bumper broad bean crop being long finished!
Are you rolling your eyes yet?
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Great news......
After heavy rainfall my water but is full again :) For the first time since Bob installed it two years ago, it had actually reached empty after all my recent busy watering activity. So that's a relief - I can sleep again!
Still on the heady note of gardening, I can proudly report that I have received a "good garden" award - just like last year, and that was despite my bumper broad bean crop being long finished!
Are you rolling your eyes yet?
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Every day is a learning day
Dear Ella,
Every day is a learning day - boy am I learning!
I learnt two things today.
1. Your sister really is nearly 18, she is no longer my "little girl". Of course I have known that for ages and been trying to come to terms with it, but this afternoon a real moment of clarity. I was walking home from work minding my own business, and was aware of two girls walking towards me and thought "they are about Ella's age" - low and behold it was Sophie and a friend (the lovely Holly). 17 going on 20. That's good right?
2. Sun Dog - you know on your day back in November at Woodlands- there was a bright light in the sky that everyone talked about and took photos of? Well I learnt tonight that it's called a Sun Dog or a Mock Sun. Stevie came to see me and we had such a lovely time chatting about you, Ashton Park days, life, the universe and well "Sun Dogs".
Every day is a learning day - boy am I learning!
I learnt two things today.
1. Your sister really is nearly 18, she is no longer my "little girl". Of course I have known that for ages and been trying to come to terms with it, but this afternoon a real moment of clarity. I was walking home from work minding my own business, and was aware of two girls walking towards me and thought "they are about Ella's age" - low and behold it was Sophie and a friend (the lovely Holly). 17 going on 20. That's good right?
2. Sun Dog - you know on your day back in November at Woodlands- there was a bright light in the sky that everyone talked about and took photos of? Well I learnt tonight that it's called a Sun Dog or a Mock Sun. Stevie came to see me and we had such a lovely time chatting about you, Ashton Park days, life, the universe and well "Sun Dogs".
Sundogs may appear as a coloured patch of light to the left or right of the sun, 22° distant and at the same distance above the horizon as the sun, and in ice halos. They can be seen anywhere in the world during any season, but they are not always obvious or bright. Sundogs are best seen and are most conspicuous when the sun is low.
Thank you Stevie
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
Ella's Sun Dog |
Wednesday, 24 July 2013
When you see the moon
Dear Ella,
I think it was Annie who told me about this quote from Neil Armstrong's family:
"the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink".
You of course loved the moon, the stars and the universe. So after all my sighing last night - I headed to bed, and there peering down at me through my bedroom window was a huge full moon - not sure about the winking, but I smiled and thought about you.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
PS - full moon = very high tide, you would have been worried abut our river bursting its banks
I think it was Annie who told me about this quote from Neil Armstrong's family:
"the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink".
You of course loved the moon, the stars and the universe. So after all my sighing last night - I headed to bed, and there peering down at me through my bedroom window was a huge full moon - not sure about the winking, but I smiled and thought about you.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
PS - full moon = very high tide, you would have been worried abut our river bursting its banks
The moon above Allington - smile :) |
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
Big sigh
Dear Ella,
"Big sigh" - why? Well - it's just no matter what I do, or how busy I am - the fact is - you are simply not here.
I know in the normal scheme of things you wouldn't have literally been here - as in Allington on a long hot summers day. Far more exciting places to be - washing elephants in Thailand, swimming off Greek beaches, dancing at festivals, eating nachos and drinking cocktails at Los Iguanas - any of these and plenty of others. But there would have been texts, exasperating calls, requests for cash, photos on FB, flip flops in the hall, piles of stuff, music blaring, dirty mugs and rallying calls to "sort myself out, cheer up and keep taking the pills".
So its a sigh of sadness, a sigh for what could have been and a sigh to "come on Jo - keep on going" - what's done is done.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
"Big sigh" - why? Well - it's just no matter what I do, or how busy I am - the fact is - you are simply not here.
I know in the normal scheme of things you wouldn't have literally been here - as in Allington on a long hot summers day. Far more exciting places to be - washing elephants in Thailand, swimming off Greek beaches, dancing at festivals, eating nachos and drinking cocktails at Los Iguanas - any of these and plenty of others. But there would have been texts, exasperating calls, requests for cash, photos on FB, flip flops in the hall, piles of stuff, music blaring, dirty mugs and rallying calls to "sort myself out, cheer up and keep taking the pills".
So its a sigh of sadness, a sigh for what could have been and a sigh to "come on Jo - keep on going" - what's done is done.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
So British
Dear Ella,
It's still "boiling'". You would be pleased to be celebrating your birthday in hot sunshine - U Bob pointed this out on his blog today about the Glastonbury bike ride this coming weekend.
It's still "boiling'". You would be pleased to be celebrating your birthday in hot sunshine - U Bob pointed this out on his blog today about the Glastonbury bike ride this coming weekend.
Weather
The forecast for the West Country for Saturday, at the moment, on the Met Office web site, is a bright yellow sun, with the odd cloud and a temperature of 27C. Ella would be pretty pleased with this for her birthday weekend!
As cyclists we might like it a little cooler and appreciate the odd shade-giving cloud; however, be prepared for a scorcher (sun scream, shades, lots of water etc.)
How British am I? - Still cant quite believe its going to be totally hot, so still taking a "cardi" to work - and have to say it's jolly handy when a quick visit to the supermarket is required - it can be very chilly around the fresh food section.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
How British am I? - Still cant quite believe its going to be totally hot, so still taking a "cardi" to work - and have to say it's jolly handy when a quick visit to the supermarket is required - it can be very chilly around the fresh food section.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Friday, 12 July 2013
Hot and sunny
Dear Ella,
We are having a heatwave....you would love it. Mojitos, shorts, flip flops, BBQ's, brown legs and just generally drifting around.
Missing sharing it with you, but grateful you are not stuck in the oncology unit - hot, oppressive and airless, however - a timely reminder that there are plenty of others stuck there right now.
So trying to make the most of it - and as you can imagine that involves a lot of time "gardening". Your strawberries have been quite good, there is a bumper crop of broad beans just about ripe for picking - but the star crop is going to be raspberries. The canes you bought me for my birthday last year have gone mad and are groaning with berries - thank you. If nothing else will make Sophie very happy.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
We are having a heatwave....you would love it. Mojitos, shorts, flip flops, BBQ's, brown legs and just generally drifting around.
Missing sharing it with you, but grateful you are not stuck in the oncology unit - hot, oppressive and airless, however - a timely reminder that there are plenty of others stuck there right now.
So trying to make the most of it - and as you can imagine that involves a lot of time "gardening". Your strawberries have been quite good, there is a bumper crop of broad beans just about ripe for picking - but the star crop is going to be raspberries. The canes you bought me for my birthday last year have gone mad and are groaning with berries - thank you. If nothing else will make Sophie very happy.
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Monday, 8 July 2013
In good company
Dear Ella,
Hot weather, Gromit (as in Wallace) and Andy Murray - I think you would consider them all good company, which is just as well as you shared the front page of the Bristol Evening Post with them today.
U Andy sorted it out - all in aid of the cause and raising more money, am listening hard and think I can hear you saying "it'll do".
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Hot weather, Gromit (as in Wallace) and Andy Murray - I think you would consider them all good company, which is just as well as you shared the front page of the Bristol Evening Post with them today.
U Andy sorted it out - all in aid of the cause and raising more money, am listening hard and think I can hear you saying "it'll do".
Lots of love
Mum
xx
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Two Mums
Dear Ella,
Been to Devon and back - took Grandad - very funny - top holiday quote "you plonker Mark"! (and that was Grandad not me) - I laughed so much, I nearly forgot I was sad.
So given I don't have a Mum anymore (in the physical sense), I went in search of my godmothers - of which I have two. Carol who you know very well and Brenda - not so well. I got a whole heap of Mum hugs, encouragement, understanding and reassurance - at what point does a Mum learn to hug you like nobody else can?
Combine France with Devon, mix in Sophie away in Woolacombe and suddenly I managed 10 days without Sophie and only the odd text. It felt good and I am sure it felt good for her. In fact so good, I was even allowed to hug her (briefly) when I saw her this morning. I hope she liked her "Mum hug".
With loads of hugs and love
Mum
xx
Been to Devon and back - took Grandad - very funny - top holiday quote "you plonker Mark"! (and that was Grandad not me) - I laughed so much, I nearly forgot I was sad.
So given I don't have a Mum anymore (in the physical sense), I went in search of my godmothers - of which I have two. Carol who you know very well and Brenda - not so well. I got a whole heap of Mum hugs, encouragement, understanding and reassurance - at what point does a Mum learn to hug you like nobody else can?
Combine France with Devon, mix in Sophie away in Woolacombe and suddenly I managed 10 days without Sophie and only the odd text. It felt good and I am sure it felt good for her. In fact so good, I was even allowed to hug her (briefly) when I saw her this morning. I hope she liked her "Mum hug".
With loads of hugs and love
Mum
xx
With Brenda |
With Carol |
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
A good read
Dear Ella,
Have finally been brave enough to go away on a "proper holiday" - so just back from five days in hot sunny France.
Time out - to recharge and allow space to really give in and think about events of recent years - painful and hard. Did it help? "yes and no".
I missed my favourite holiday buddies - you and Sophie so much. Long legs round the swimming pool, the gentle thump of music from your I Tunes, getting ready for dinner in the evening, rubbing after sun lotion into your backs - and simply hanging out in sunny hot climates.
I finally read "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest" - the final book in the Millennium trilogy - and then I really missed you. I never got round to reading it on our last holiday together - Greece 2010. You said I would love it - and you were right.
Love
Mum
xx
Have finally been brave enough to go away on a "proper holiday" - so just back from five days in hot sunny France.
Time out - to recharge and allow space to really give in and think about events of recent years - painful and hard. Did it help? "yes and no".
I missed my favourite holiday buddies - you and Sophie so much. Long legs round the swimming pool, the gentle thump of music from your I Tunes, getting ready for dinner in the evening, rubbing after sun lotion into your backs - and simply hanging out in sunny hot climates.
I finally read "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest" - the final book in the Millennium trilogy - and then I really missed you. I never got round to reading it on our last holiday together - Greece 2010. You said I would love it - and you were right.
Love
Mum
xx
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