Big sigh

Dear Ella,

"Big sigh" - why? Well - it's just no matter what I do, or how busy I am - the fact is - you are simply not here.

I know in the normal scheme of things you wouldn't have literally been here - as in Allington on a long hot summers day.  Far more exciting places to be - washing elephants in Thailand, swimming off Greek beaches, dancing at festivals, eating nachos and drinking cocktails at Los Iguanas - any of these and plenty of others. But there would have been texts, exasperating calls, requests for cash, photos on FB, flip flops in the hall, piles of stuff, music blaring, dirty mugs and rallying calls to "sort myself out, cheer up and keep taking the pills".

So its a sigh of sadness, a sigh for what could have been and a sigh to "come on Jo - keep on going" -  what's done is done.

Lots of love

Mum
xx