Dear Ella,
Today I was introduced as Ella's Mum so many times - I lost count. I love that title so much, I know now that I always will be your Mum and Sophie's - my best and most favourite pastime of all.
It was used with reverence and care at a time when people that you loved and cared about so much are ragged with grief, disbelief, incredulity and loss.
Once again the natural order and stance of life has been knocked wide out of kilter and its so hard to compute and make into some kind of sense. Best not to - just go with the flow, ride the pain and see where it washes you up - having some confidence that the network of friends and family will hold you safe as you navigate the storm.
As I walked home this evening - the rain poured down - like it did in November 2012 - sad, wet, saturating rain - crying for the waste of beauty and youth.
Words are useless - but important, just difficult to find ones that are even anywhere near right - as ever I am listening carefully to hear what you would think to say and do.
Lots of love
Mum
XX
Jo, you could add intelligence to the "beauty and youth". Have you been somewhere special or just an average day? Love, Rob
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