Pip swung by

Dear Ella,

So - lovely Pip from Oxford came by Bristol last week - we met for a coffee and a wonderful catch up. We talked so much about you, and the time we spent in Oxford when she helped to look after you at the hospital.

We talked a lot about the time since you have not been here as well.   The words tumbled out and settled into some kind of order neither sad or happy - just good to have them all out on the table.

We hugged and smiled and went our ways - wrapped comfortably in our shared memories - which is weird - how it can be comfortable to remember you being so ill, being in hospital, hearing terrible news, being scared and cancer all around.

But, it was so weirdly comforting to have gone "mentally" back to Oxford and remembered you and our time there so vividly - awful times, but intense lovely ones as well.  Downton Abbey watching, cups of tea, waiting to go home, Dominoes Pizza, Visitors from near and far, making friends with nurses (and some Doctors), sitting with you while you slept, driving from you to Sophie and back again, tip toeing down to my little room to sleep for a while, taking you to the operating theatre, sitting with you for hours in the recovery room, and the final, final meeting, when you held my hand and gaze so tight and told me without any words that I would be OK.  It's all about me you know!

Thank you Pip for taking me back there

Lots of love

Mum
xxx