Pain

Dear Ella,

A random comment by a colleague at work and all of a sudden I was back in your world of pain, reliving the moments of your cancer journey that were so very physically painful.

The colleague said "I never realised cancer could be so painful" referring to a friend of his.   None of us do - until we actually have it and have to live with it.  I haven't so don't fully know just how painful it can be - but I sat with you through your pain - willing the morphine and cocktail of drugs to kick in and take the pain away.  Breathing and crying with you - I don't know how you did it.  The long, long nights were the very worst - with daylight somehow working with the drugs to make the pain diminish.

What a blessing to discover that within the NHS their are people called "pain management nurses"- who work their magic with a sophisticated hierarchy of drugs making day to day living much more manageable.

 You were very frightened at times - no wonder

No more pain now….

Lots of love

Mum
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