Dear Ella,
Just a regular kind of day - Wednesday'ish - so middle of the week, last weekend a distant memory the next one appearing on the horizon. Usual routines - getup, eat, walk, work, walk, eat and so on and then all of a sudden WHAM - it really is real - you aren't hear and never, ever will be again. The pain is instant, overwhelming and shocking. I can't give it away or pass it on and wouldn't want to.
So I went to spend some time in your room, had a rummage in your drawers - panic set in I couldn't find your favourite T Shirt - the huge baggy one with a big E on the front it it.....turns out Sophie had got there first and had squirrelled it away in her room. So its safe and in a great place - I hope it's helping her.
Then I went to Asda.......and life goes on.
Lots of love
Mum
xxx
Lots of love to you & Sophie, no words can ease the pain you are feeling but so many people thinking of you & missing Ella..... She is always with you x
ReplyDeleteNo consolation Jo, but we all get those feelings and then sort of run away from them which we can more easily do...... Good that you don't want to in my view looking on..... Jim x
ReplyDeleteYes, I some times get that feeling about Mum and Ella, but cannot imagine the intensity with which it must hit you Jo, with regard to Ella. I also get it about my own mortality, perhaps focussed by the events of 2012; a suddenly remembering that life is not forever and perhaps I should value every day a bit more than I do, love Rob
ReplyDeleteThere are no words but you and Sophie are always in my thoughts and I hope some of my good vibes reach you both some days.
ReplyDeleteHere are some sites I visit when I think of Ella, depending on what mood I'm in and what cure I need, maybe you might get something out of them too. x
http://lynnetriplett.tumblr.com/post/43431576863/six-websites-i-go-to-when-i-am-upset
Lovely - thank you x
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