Ella must have spent much of her time high on endorphins;

Dear Ella,

…and U Bob said a few lovely words as well - naturally with a science twist!

Lots of love
Mum
xx

When Jo asked me to say a few words, I wondered where to turn for inspiration, and then remembered an article I had read in New Scientist about friendship. The article asked one of those questions, which at first sound a bit odd: why do we have friends? I think Ella, would have found it an interesting one to ponder!

According to the boffins, whilst some animals may roam around in huge herds, they are doing so, with mere acquaintances. Humans on the other hand, share the capability to make true friends with just a few other species, including gorillas, chimps, whales, dolphins, horses, elephants and even camels, which like all good friends, occasionally get the hump with each other.

Being friendly is linked with the release bio-chemicals like oxytocin and various endorphins, which make us feel good. A lack of contact with friends releases cortisol, which makes us feel bad. Sophie can fill you in on the details!

Ella must have spent much of her time high on endorphins; apparently laughing, singing, dancing and gossiping with friends, all stimulate their release. She would also have recognised a modern-day measure of “true friendship”; which is, when you visit a good friend’s house, your smartphone connects to the Wi-Fi automatically!

It is often said that you are stuck with family, but friends you choose. We, the family, like to think Ella was quite fond of us and I know she was devoted to Jo, Sophie and her Dad, Bob. But, when it comes to friends, New Scientist was a bit gloomy, saying that, “friendships are susceptible to decay”.

However, there was an exception: the close friendships we make in our teens and early twenties. Many of these last a lifetime and do not fade up even after decades of separation. It is gratifying to know that Ella had already made those friends by the time she lost her struggle with cancer in November 2012, and that she will never be forgotten. Most of you are here today.

So, there is no doubt, that here, at Aston Park School, is the right place to plant this tree. The place which Ella forged many of those friendships. And a place we can all visit in coming years to mark the years passing without the charming, intelligent and lively young friend, we all lost just 18 months ago. 

Thank you.