Aching

Dear Ella,

Just aching to see you....I don't know how else to explain it, and don't know why the ache is greater today.

As I walked into work this morning, I just wanted to keep going to the oncology hospital, hoping to find you there just like I used to.  My walking would getting faster and faster till I finally reached the hospital.   There you would be sleepy and a bit fed up, but would always say "how are you" and I would say "all the better for seeing you" And then amidst the lines, tubes, bags of chemo and hospital paraphernalia I would hug you and drink you in.

And that's the simple truth, it would be better if I could see you.

I satisfied my Sophie ache earlier this week, went to Cardiff and hugged her so tight (twice) - she nearly squeaked, but hugged me right back.  We hung on tight and a thousand unsaid words were osmosed between us.

Achingly on into the weekend.

Lots of love

Mum
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